I was sitting on the bench of my walker in the shade by the dog run the other day. I had asked God for a sign. Then I noticed a spider crawling up my leg. It was a small (7-8 mm) expeditionary spider that reminded me of the laughable ego trips of explorers. It turned in place, as if asking “here?” then continued toward the summit. I felt it crawling all the way up my back and neck. I abided. I accepted.
I lost track of it after that. I think it crawled over my baseball cap and must have come down in front of my nose, because I felt a telltale strand of spider silk on my chin. But I didn’t see it.
At the time of this post I intended it to be my last. My “Survival Index” stands at 1,561 days. I am considering the cost in life of actually removing the code that runs that feature, but, like so many other tasks recently, taking it apart now seems so much harder than building in the first place.
I finally caught up on your blog and was glad to do so. I hope your spider was more pleasant than the ones in my basement are.
Do you want to go out on the mail boat one of these days? I’ve been wanting to, I haven’t gone for years. 🙂
I live with a limited-mobility relative amd I’m familiar with some of the difficulties you describe.
Thinking of you often, and praying.
I’ve been visiting your blog for a while, but I haven’t said anything.With your apparent leaving, however, I feel like I should.
So. I’m a young teenage girl with some amount of problems. You’ve given me hope, honestly, how you take the news of so many bad things with so much… Bravery. It truly is amazing.
Good luck.
Hey Bogart,
Since you are not longer posting to this blog, you may not get this, but just wanted to let you know you are still in my thoughts. go well.
Marsha
Praying for you Bogey. Seems like just yesterday we were waiting for the bus out in front of my house.
Love your diary! So detailed and insightful! Grandpa was just recently diagnosed with a rare gliosarcoma. Wondering how its going for you.
Long time no see.
Dotty had her yearly MRI. All clear.
But the after effects of the radiation treatment seem progressive. Not nice.
On a happier note: we should take up epistemology, I don’t think we know much about it.